Tennis matches are full of details. And yet, for most junior players, the most important detail rarely comes into conversation: What did you learn? After a tough loss or even a big win, it’s tempting to go straight to analysis mode. Why didn’t you hit more forehands? What happened in the second set? Why didn’t you attack the second serve more? But the best post-match question is much simpler and more powerful: What did you notice?
It sounds small, but it’s a mindset shift. Instead of focusing on outcomes, it brings attention to awareness. It turns the match into a learning opportunity, not a verdict. And when that question becomes a habit, players start to see matches differently. They stop obsessing over the score and start paying attention to the match dynamics, their patterns under pressure, their reactions after mistakes, their opponent’s tendencies. They become students of the game, not just performers in it.
This simple shift can be transformational. Because awareness is the foundation of learning. You can’t adjust your strategy if you didn’t notice what wasn’t working. You can’t prepare for the next match if you weren’t paying attention to the patterns in this one. And you definitely can’t grow as a competitor if every loss feels like a personal failure instead of a data point.
Of course, this only works if we as adults model it too. When a match ends, resist the urge to jump in with your own narrative. Don’t list all the mistakes. Don’t try to fix it right away. Instead, ask: What did you notice out there? What surprised you? What would you try differently next time?
Those questions open the door to reflection. They give players permission to think, to process, and to own their development. They also build trust. You’re showing them that their perspective matters more than your opinion. That learning is the goal, not just winning.
So the next time your player walks off the court, win or lose, try this: take a deep breath, offer a smile, and ask the most important question in tennis: What did you notice?
