Junior tennis tournaments can feel like emotional rollercoasters, not just for the players but for their parents too. You see it all the time on the sidelines. The pacing during tight moments in the second set. The sighs after a missed volley. The quick glance toward the scoreboard during the changeover. We all want our kids to do well, but sometimes our own stress sneaks into the match without us even realizing it.
The truth is, a parent’s experience at a tournament is shaped by far more than just the result. It’s shaped by everything around them. The behavior of other kids. The way parents interact. Whether matches start on time. How fair the play feels. And when something goes wrong—when a child underperforms, loses to someone who cheats, or feels left out—it hits hard.
But what I’ve learned from many conversations with parents is that they don’t just vent. They reflect. They offer solutions. They ask for support, for guidance, and most importantly, for a shift in the culture of junior tennis. They’re not looking to become coaches. They want to become better parents in the context of sport—steadier, calmer, and more connected to what really matters.
That mindset mirrors so much of what we believe as coaches. The player should always be at the center of the process. Not as a performer to be judged, but as a person learning to navigate growth, pressure, and discovery. Our job isn’t to provide answers. It’s to design experiences that help them find their own. In a way, parents are on a similar journey. Walking alongside, not ahead.
Of course, none of this is easy. Watching your child struggle can feel even harder than struggling yourself. You want to protect them. To fix it. To say the perfect thing to make it all better. But maybe the most helpful thing we can do is pause, take a breath, and shift the focus. Not to what went wrong or how many points they won, but to what they learned. What surprised them. What they might try differently next time.
Maybe it’s time tennis organizations rethink what junior tournaments are really about. Not just for players, but for families too. Let’s create space for calm, for connection, for growth. Let’s make room for conversations that center effort and learning over results. Let’s build a culture where everyone feels like they belong—even after a tough loss.
Because youth sport isn’t a performance review. It’s a shared journey. And when parents and kids move through it together, with patience, trust, and a bit more perspective, the lessons last far longer than any scoreboard.
So the next time you’re sitting courtside, remember this: you’re not just watching a match. You’re helping write a story. One point, one moment, one conversation at a time.
